Death Threats

Excuse me, folks... we interrupt your regular scheduled programming to bring you word of a death threat overheard on campus today...

I just have to write this down, and then I plan to contact the counseling department tomorrow or (less ideally) the Campus "Safety"... how safe they keep me is open to interpretation but I suppose they are one option.

Tonight I was in the IT department happily filling out an application (side topic!) when I became aware of a rather loud conversation occurring behind me. Initially I was just annoyed that these folks were talking in a regular voice when all the other students were hushed, bent over their work. Finals are next week and the campus has remembered its purpose and newly serious students abound. As I cursed myself for forgetting earplugs, I started to actually listen to what these students were saying and became rather disturbed.

I knew the male student. We were even Facebook friends for a period of time. This fellow is quite an odd duck... I would say on the aspergers end of the social spectrum. He can often be found running up and down a hallway, muttering and correcting himself. I used to call his name and say hello, but rarely would he acknowledge me. He seems intelligent but lacking in social graces-- or just viewing these customs as irrelevant. The female student he was talking to I had never seen before. Nor was I even aware he could carry on an intelligible conversation for so long. Their conversation sounded very pretentious, as conversations between intelligent-people-lacking-in-social-cues often do.

Boy: "...my father is actually highly intelligent. I believe he could have had any job he wanted to, but he chose not to, and I respect him for that."
Girl: "Yeah, he could be a millionaire."
B: No... much more than that. You don't understand.
G: Oh, well when I said millionaire, I meant multi-millionaire.
...
At this point I rolled my eyes and tuned out, until I heard...

G: Your mother is despicable. I just want her to die. I just wish she would choke on something and die.
B: Well, that's not likely to happen...
G: But it could! Does your mother have a predisposition for long life?
B: Yes, well my mother's family is actually quite well known for living a very long while...
G: Is your mother in good health?
B: Yes, she seems to be taking very good care of herself, actually...
G: Well is she a diabetic? Does she like red meat?
B: I don't know...

This line of questioning seemed incredibly bizarre to me... like she was trying to plot ways to kill off the guy's mother. I felt I had to intervene in some way... and I couldn't believe the disdain I was hearing in her voice.

Next thing I know, the guy was saying, "Well, I don't want my mother to actually die!" To which the girl retorted, "Kyle, she's a cancer. She's a cancer in your life that needs to be cut out!"

I couldn't stay silent any longer.

I turned around and said, "Hey, guys, I don't really want to hear these kinds of things being said."

"Oh, ok, sorry..." they mumbled. The guy showed no sign of recognition-- in fact, he didn't even look up at me, once.

But I wasn't finished.

I turned to the girl and said, "You know, I'm reminded of a quote by Anne Lamott... she says that you can safely assume that you've created God in your image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do." I was trying to imply that maybe there was more to this "despicable mother" than she saw, and that no matter how much she detested the woman, she had no right to wish these horrible things on her.

The girl was unimpressed with my sermon, to say the least.

"Well, I'm not normally like this..." and I started to nod my head, only to be told, "...but I don't think you have any right to be judgmental!"

Whoa whoa whoa. I hate the j-word. Kids these days... toss it around so flippantly. Chick, listen here. You're making death threats on this guys' mother! I'm not "judging" you by telling you to stop it.

But my brilliant retort was only, "I am not being judgmental, I'd just appreciate not hearing things like this... so just... keep it down."

Yeah, really socked it to her there.

Anyway, I e-mailed my mom telling her I might be murdered before I returned home. She was only slightly aroused. The more I thought about it, the more disturbed I became. I told her and my sister the story later. Mom suggested I get in contact with someone on campus about it, just in case. I called one of my best friends who works on campus. I figured E would have a pretty good idea of who I should talk to, if anyone. E suggested I e-mail this guy's residence director, which I am about to do. It could be nothing and probably is... but then again, I'd rather it be not on my conscience any longer.

So... what did you overhear today?



(And no, Kyle is definitely not his real name.)